LDS Family Services

In the textbook and in chapter 15 it talks about LDS Family Services and how it can help unwed parents and adoptive parents. I work with kids at a school and a lot of them are adopted. Many of them feel like they can't connect with their parents. For example, there is a small black boy with white adopted parents. The black boy feels like his parents can't understand his culture and his behavior because they aren't black. The boy makes poor decisions, is rude to his parents, and defies them constantly. the family would I think to be a good candidate for therapy.
90% of parents that adopt are pleased with their adoption and would want to adopt again. Many of the kids that get adopted have a hard time with a relationship with their parents in their teenage years. But it gets better as they get older.

LDS FS also helps with people put their children up for adoption. It is shown that a teenager that gives up their baby for adoption are more likely to graduate high school. It can be a blessing for both the person giving the kid up for adoption and the family looking for a child to adopt.

Boundaries

As a Parent, you have to set limits and boundaries for your children. Otherwise, they will walk all over you. Whenever you give into a boundary to your son or daughter you want to make it known to them that you are letting them break a boundary so that you can build a relationship with them. For example, if I said "dinner time!" And my kids wanted to finish their game really quick before they came upstairs to eat dinner, I would say "ok I will let you finish your game, but I'm letting you do this because I love you and I want to build a relationship with you. you are not getting out of eating dinner as a family."
That way your point is clear about why you are letting them play their game for a bit. They know that you aren't just afraid of the power struggle and conflict of them not wanting to come upstairs to eat dinner.

Communication

Marital Sexuality and intimacy

It is important to be intimate in marriage. Not only to have kids but to express love. A couple should have intimacy often in order to show their love to eachother. They should be willing to talk to eachother about what makes eachother comfortable and uncomfortable. If there is anything that they feel like they are lacking, they should seek hlep from a therapist. A therapist will not judge you and they are open to helping any problem you may have.
Its improtant to not get caught up in jsut being intimate whle married. there are many other aspects of marriage that make it great besides that. Just spending time with eachother is a great way to connect. Watch a movie, read a book together etc.

Equal Partnerships in marriage

I've been reading take back your marriage by Fowler and came across some great stuff about equality that I wanted to share with all of you today.

 Fowler said “the full measure of intimacy in marriage requires husbands and wives to be equal.”. The gospel principle that drives this virtue comes from the scripture first Corinthians 11:11  “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” This helps to show that man and woman are equal. They each play a part in the worth of each other.  There was an example of a marriage that was described in the book of a couple that split everything down the middle perfectly equally. Groceries, chores, time with children were exactly equal between each other. It would seem that this example of a marriage would be doing well because they are so just and equal with each other. That was not the case. This marriage was having serious marriage problems. This couple had to learn to trust each other and to relax about having everything equal.

Flowers says “Spouses who have confidence in the fairness of their arrangements generally perceive justice in their relationships in a global way and do not need to struggle over their equality on a daily basis.” This to me means that they don’t have to be so detailed about their equality. Only more as a general sense.

Examples that a marriage could apply this virtue of justice could come in many ways. One way is having separate but equal responsibility. The husband could be the one that provides for the family financially. That is a very big responsibility. The wife could take care of the children which is regarded by many as an equal responsibility but just different. If the couple doesn’t have children, the wife could still take care of the house or make dinner for themselves. That is also a big responsibility.